Lately his favourite game seems to be playing with me and then stopping. He heats me up, touching my nipples, my cunt, my clit, fucking with my mind. I get hot and crazy. And once he knows I am crazy for it, he stops. He stops completely, short of letting me cum. And then doesn't come back to it.
This isn't new for him. He has always done this. Since we first met, over five years ago.
What is new is what happens next. And recently that's nothing at all. He just goes on; moves to something different. And then maybe he forgets that he left me hanging.
Sigh.
I hate that he forgets. I get that there are reasons, things in his life. I even know what they are. But I want it to be about me!
Last weekend he played with me, hurting me, using me, making me beg for pain. He made me ask for it, beg for it, and then he made me humiliate myself to beg for it. All of which was pretty damn hot for me, and for him as well I believe.
Then, he cut it off, cut me off and left me hanging. Wanting sex, wanting more pain, wanting even more humiliation. I was dying to please, dying to show him how much he owned me, dying to prove to him that I was his slut.
Saturday morning I woke up early, came downstairs to masturbate. And did the deed, only to find that it wasn't satisfying, wasn't scratching the itch that needed scratching. I was restless. Anxious.
Was I eager? God, i don't know, but I wanted him to come and be there and tell me where we were and talk about the night before and ... fuck I don't know if I wanted him to continue hurting me right where he left off or pull me into his lap or fuck me blind.
And when he arrived, hours later, he called me his little one, affectionate with me then, whatever desire that had been there the night before was gone. He was lazy, pleased with the world, on his way to the gym.
I was surprised at how bereft I felt by it. I wanted him to want me and he didn't. He was satisfied, satiated. I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me. I wanted the game to be in the forefront of his mind and it wasn't
And when I told him I had masturbated and cum that morning he responded that he would have expected it.
I don't think I like this game.
ugh...you poor thing. I'm sure he has his reasons but still.
ReplyDeletemouse
oh ouch! and not in a good way either. I'm sorry to hear your so torn right now Hun. Hang in there and it will all work out in time.
ReplyDeleteHBD
He plays like this with me often to humiliate me, and often the humiliation is hot for me. And this isn't bad really, just absent minded. But I want more of his attention of course. I know this is me being demanding.
ReplyDeleteOh how I hate being in the position you are in right now. If you demand attention, you are topping. If you do nothing, you feel horribly lonely and out of sync. I tend to get pouty and act out in subtle ways until it's noticed (not really a good idea). Don't worry. These things pass. Usually the second he fucks you. :)
ReplyDelete