But What's It Relative To?

It's hard to write today because I am so totally wrapped up with my Owner. It's amazing how good we can be when we are good. Freakin amazing. And it's all too raw and new and private and vulnerable to write about just now. So I'm not. But he points out that my blog is darker than we really are. So today, I'm telling the world, I'm deleriously happy in my submission today.

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I want to go back to yesterday's topic for a bit, to talk more about the masochists continuum. Some things I thought later, after posting, and some things are responses to the rest of you.

It occurred to me after I posted that I'm not sure if I'm talking about how much pain you desire or how much you desire pain. I think those two things might be different. Is it about how much pain one of us takes relative to the others, if there was a way to standardize would that make it clearer? Or is it about how much we crave it, how much they can make us want it? And the reasons we crave it, as an appetizer or the main course, as a way to offer service or as a thrill all its own?

I think that most Sadists (notice I give it the capital letter, as befits how important my Sadist is to me sometimes?) would say that its not how much pain a sub can take but how they take the pain. Are they willing? Do they struggle? Will they keep taking it after they don't want it anymore? Do they cry? Do they cry beautifully?

With pain, there's always a point where it can go too far. They can always push past the point where it's "good pain" and into bad. Time is on their side. They can always make you say uncle or stop or safe word. They can always make you cry or beg them to stop or scream for help. Is that what they want? Depends on the Sadist I guess.

I think that Sadists must need to calibrate new recipients (what word am I going to use here? Girls? Subs? Slaves? Masochists? Pain sluts? Victims?) I'm going to go with girls I think which will show some of my own assumptions. Sadists who want a relationship with their girls must need to calibrate them and understand how much pain they can take and work with that.

Presumably they start off slowly, testing, watching for results, evaluating the experience as they go. Does she like this? What about this? Is this too far? What happens when it's too far? Will she let me hurt her? Will she let me go so far it damages her? Will she use the safe word I've given her?

A paddle and a paddling that one girl might scoff at (beware of scoffing though, that's never a good stance) might reduce another to hysterical tears. And both honest reactions elicited by the same basic experience. Clamps that might make one beg for release might be perfect for another. So the Sadist learns to calibrate.

My own Sadist knows that clamps that hurt me but are bearable for 10 minutes will reduce me to a quivering weeping jelly after 60 minutes.

And those same clamps... how would they be on another girl? Well that's not really the point right? The point would be that he's looking for a response and can try different things til he gets it. Maybe it's not about having them on for 60 minutes or maybe it is. Maybe it's about having them on that long. Or maybe its about an instant response. So he'd change the equipment or use something gentler like clothespins or those nasty black office clamps and I'm pretty sure he'd get what he wanted.

I guess the point isn't your absolute tolerance for pain, it's something different.

I wonder if this is making any sense at all or just rambling? I don't think I'm at my most coherent today.

So getting to the comments from yesterday, I was intrigued at how many people felt they were moving up the scale, and seemed to think that was a good thing.  Maybe that's one of the common denominators (can I have more than one common denominator?) for people who read my blog?

And Kaya, you are definitely at least a 9. Yep. Remember the nails? And you asked for the nails.

SFP, you can be wherever you want sweetie. Want to be a 6? I don't mind.

And Lil, I think the negative numbers are normal people who just don't like pain. And the numbers above 10 are the crazy people. Who decides these things? Me. My blog, my scale. BUT... it's still in development so if you convince me, I can change it. And maybe I could be persuaded.

And my Owner says that he would put me at a 6.4 now. Don't you love that precision? And that I was a 2.7 when he met me. I was pretty happy at 2.7 and just didn't get sadism or masochism at all from either side. He says he's a 7 by the way, I think he's at least a 7.5. I do know he's further on the scale than I am, darker than I am. I know that I want to stop well before he does.