Having My Cake and Eating it Too

Someone asked me, "sin- I love following you.. You're the first blog I read every day- so Thank you! So my question... Are you married to someone else? And if so- how do you and your owner deal with that? Does your husband know? ~faithful follower"

Yes I'm married to someone else. Most days, pretty happily married.

I don't focus on my marriage here because this blog is mostly about finding my submission as it says in the title. And my marriage isn't really about finding my submission. My marriage is more about building a partnership to do the things we want to do.

We've been married a long time. He's a good man, a good husband, a good friend and I love him. He's pretty dominant in the bedroom but outside of that we are pretty much equal partners. I say pretty much because, just like all marriages, there are decisions where he's the bigger decision maker and some where I am. For example, he has a bigger say about money decisions, I have a bigger voice about the kids.

Does my husband know? Yes. Sort of. As much as he wants to. Probably more than he wants to. I try not to put it in his face. He doesn't know specifics. He knows that I have a relationship. We don't really talk about it anymore though we fought fiercely about it for a while. And he doesn't know how submissive I am in my relationship with Big Bad. And he isn't crazy about it. I'm sure he wishes the whole thing would all just go away and I would find another hobby. He doesn't know about this blog.

How does my Owner deal with it? As respectfully as possible. That's one of the things that has made my relationship with him possible really.

My Owner also has another relationship, a woman he lives with and loves, more vanilla than me, but more D/s than mine with my husband. I try to be respectful of that. Does she know? Yes, she knows a fair bit I think, but not everything.

We are pretty happy with the status quo right now.  I am happy with my husband and family and life. I am happy with Big Bad.

Its an simple question. And it's hard for me to answer without it sounding like a pile of excuses. Or without it sounding like I'm running him down. And, honestly, I'm such a pleaser and I know that some of you will disapprove.

And I'm not planning to leave my husband, not giving up home and family and kids for love. Does that sound like my love for my Owner is less real? Or that my submission to him is less real? I think both are very real and important in my life. And it's what works for me, for us. For now and for the foreseeable future.