Protection

Recently I've noticed a spate of "protectorship" blog posts. I could link them, but I'm lazy today, so I'm not.

One was asking what a protector does, and the difference between a protector and a mentor. Short answer is that I’m not sure there is a difference actually.


One was saying that there’s a Dom who has another sub who is suddenly paying a lot of very flattering interest in her, and trying to advise and help her and it sounds like she isn’t sure what he wants.

And another was a long rant about how this Dom offered himself as a protector and then started bossing the sub around and telling her what to do, with her job, with her personal life, and wanting her to call him Sir and to ask permission for things. And she found it smothering and was really pissed at him. And yes it really was a rant. So …ummm… what the heck did you think it was gonna look like? Doms like control. That’s their gig. They like to advise and boss around. They like to tell you what to do and they like to be asked for and to grant permission. So I would imagine that most forms of mentorship or protection from a Dom to a sub would have some of those aspects.

My Dom has a couple of subs he mentors. Put up your hand anyone who is surprised by that? Imagine that, Sin’s Dom has more girls up his sleeve.

So… what does he do for these girls? And recognize that this is my impression, an impression from the outside looking in, rather than from one of the participants. Two of them read here regularly and might jump in and give more on this.

I think really he is kind of a part time Dom to them. He is a Dom on call. He talks to them about their relationships, he advises and encourages on various things, including fitness, he gives them a man’s point of view, a Dom’s point of view. He talks to their Doms. He negotiates on their behalf as required. He has helped them to choose new Doms. He makes them feel sexy and desirable and submissive. He might have some kind of sexual relationship with them.

He’s part big brother, part daddy, part boy friend, part personal trainer, part Dom. It can be anything he wants, anything they want together, it’s like any other relationship, defined by the people who participate in it.

In the rant I’m referring to the blogger wants to know how to get out of the relationship she’s gotten into. And it’s hard. I think it’s easier to define the relationship and expectations up front. Don’t you?