What do you think of Valentine's Day?
Don't get me wrong. I like getting chocolate or flowers or jewellery. I really do. Really.
But it seems to me that Valentine's Day kind of links with a romantic love that perhaps doesn't really jive with a D/s relationship. I guess I mean that I don't think it jives well with a male dominant female submissive relationship. The other way around, female dominant and male submissive, I think it goes beautifully.
I think its provenance is really a courtly love tradition, stemming from the middle ages. Don't you? With knights paying homage to their fair ladies and wooing them. Perhaps battling for their favours, duelling with other knights or even slaying dragons. Going on quests to prove their devotion.
And it's become a kind of day for puppy love. For expressions of first love, sweet love, romantic love. Oh there are links with passion. And Hallmark certainly plays it all up as do sex stores and drug stores and jewelry stores and lingerie stores. Buy your woman a gift to show her what she means to you. "Show her she's the one." "Show her you'd marry her all over again."
And in my submissive relationship with my Master, I want him to love me, in fact I want him to love me a LOT. And I definitely want his attention.
But the idea of him wooing me? I dunno. It's not what I want really. And perhaps I am unnerved by the idea that he might turn from my Big Bad Dom to a sensitive romantic lover? Nervous about him mooning after me and prepared to do my bidding in order to win my favour?
Maybe I'm more worried about what that could turn me into? The kind of bossy controlling girlfriend I was in college. And what THAT would do to my relationship with Big Bad.
Yikes.
And no, one day of romantic love or adoration won't change things. He does have a romantic streak (yep, the secret is out now, sorry Sir) but he's pretty damn quick to push me back in my place and put a foot on my neck if he thinks I need it.
Of course there are two sides to any relationship, and I can dress pretty for Valentine's Day and pay him special attention. But I do that every day right? I can let him know that I adore him and would do anything for him. But I do that lots of days right?
So in a world where I do exactly what he wants every day anyway, or try to, what makes Valentine's Day different?
7 comments:
I would rather if he is going to give me flowers to give them to me on a day that means something to us. Not a day that everyone gets them. I would rather not receive anything on Valentine's Day as it means less in my view than if given on another day.
hugs,
heather1
I am a cynic about V Day. But as a good Slave I know the drill. so there will be flowers and a romantic dinner. But if she lost that key....
Mick
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wG6lAtpcI_Q
So this isn't Sin and MOS? funny, it's how I've imagined the two of you.
Valentines day is the day a grown woman can dress in pink from head to toe and no one blinks an eye.
Other than that?
It's a day for people who do not have regular romance in their lives to count on getting some (or at least some chocolate).
And your big hunk of chocolate covered crack would never allow you to go back to that bossy girlfriend you were in college. It might be a battle royal, you are a strong woman, but Big Bad would win, hands down.
Actually, where I live it's just another day. But my Daddy is a romantic and it was going to be my first Valentine's day with him and I just needed another excuse to do something special for him...
About valentine's day and D/s, I think it depends on your opinion. Everyday you do what he wants. How about you do something you know he likes, but he doesn't ask for it? That still makes the day special doesn't it?
i had to laugh. for YEARS i have lamented Valentines day...i have called it a "hallmark holiday" for eons (as my wife reminded me last night, matter of fact!)
for us as a family it is now a time to make homemade cards, and express, this one time, in open and unabashed fashion, that we do in fact, adore each other.
i don't see *that* as a conflict in a D/s role...He can say he loves me with a paintstick, a pair of elastics, or a chocolate rose (or all the above)..and it would not change my submission to Him one iota.
*smiling*
as if Big Bad would *let* you become the bad girlfriend? Srsly sin?
*giggling*
naw, didn't think so!!
nilla
Laughing - you're so right. It's a Hallmark holiday. I don't associate it with knights and courting, I connect it with marketing strategies.
Just now read 'Nilla's comment - that's II for "Halllmark holiday" Great minds... But I feel the same way about Mother's Day and Father's Day - designed to make you feel guilty if you don't do enough for your parent, and to make you feel unloved if your kids don't come through for you.
Anyhow, I'd maybe be a little less cynical about it if someone were sending me flowers and taking me out to dinner...
aisha
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