Recovery

It had been ages, weeks, almost a month. Oh we'd talked a bit, then talked a lot, and even played a little. But we hadn't played with pain.

On the weekend, he started again. A clamp on one nipple. And it really really hurt. Way more than I thought it should.

On Monday night he used the tweezer clamps. OMFG they hurt. He put them on pretty tight, then pulled them this way and that. And then told me to just hold them, holding my breasts up by the clamps on my nipples. I panicked. Seriously. I thought I might have to stop him. (A bit like stopping a bulldozer!) I thought I wouldn't be able to do what he told me to do. I don't even know how I'd have stopped it.

Last night. He got clamps out and had me put them on. Right first. I put them on myself, so gently. And as soon as the first one went on I started to panic again. It hurt. I couldn't do it. It must be on wrong. He had to stop. I couldn't take it.

He was watching me. Watching the play of emotions, of fear, on my face.

My hands were fluttering near my clamped nipple, trying to save it. Not daring to.

He told me to put the second one on.

I started to obey.

He said to me, "I know you are in trouble here if that helps you."

It did help a tiny bit.

At least he wouldn't expect me to wear them for hours. Would he?

I put the left one on as ordered.


He had me take the right one off. Better. Still excruciating but better.


And then put it back on again.


I ... did it but oh it was horrible.


Eventually, hours later, he took them off me.


Total time elapsed, for the whole thing? Not hours. It was under 4 minutes.


I guess the nerves do get blunted with abuse. I guess they do recover. I don't think recovery is going to be good for me.

And today we have hours together. I bet it seems like longer.