What's Normal?

Nothing seems to stay the same in my relationship with him. Yes, that does kind of make it feel different from my other relationships. ¨

What changes? I guess the amount of time we get together changes. So does the amount of privacy. But those are external things and we change to meet their challenges.

His focus changes. Sometimes it's a particular kind of sex and sometimes another. That seems to change week by week. Sometimes the focus is on something we've never tried before. He is determined to keep things fresh so he changes focus all the time. When I have loved a session I sometimes beg for a repeat but rarely get it. No boring missionary position for him! He calls it "messing with it".

Whether there is another person involved in our relationship changes too. Often he has another submissive, and that changes our dynamic, sometimes in a good way, sometimes not. But it certainly changes the focus, mixes things up a bit.That's part of "messing with it".

Obviously relationships change in the rest of my life too. My relationships with loved ones and friends ebb and flow. But I think there, it's rare that everything changes at once. So when my job changes, I have the sameness of the rest of my routine. And when my kids' lives or activities change as they grow, I have stability in my marriage. And when that is good or bad, the rest is pretty stable. And when a friend gets a new horrible boyfriend or has a baby and no time, I have other friends.

And it's not that I don't pay attention to the rest of my life. I really do, I promise. But with him, I guess I keep waiting for things to settle and be "normal". I've been waiting 8 years. I've just realized that if it hasn't happened yet, it isn't really going to happen, is it?