Something New

Once upon a time, in a dark chatroom dungeon, I met my Dom.

Yeah, I know, you've heard this before.

He was ... so fucking scary.

And so fucking attractive.

I was hooked, right away.

He was terrifying and wonderful and exciting and I couldn't believe he was interested in me.

We talked about our interests, our experience. He gave me a task, to go out and buy a package of clothespins. I was giddy with him, breathless, beside myself.

I couldn't get enough of him. 

I'm full of big words, big ideas here, it probably sounds like exaggeration, but in fact it was simply infatuation. I was enthralled, seduced, romanced and hooked.

He was the biggest, baddest, scariest, most exciting and attractive man I had ever met. 

He wasn't the first man I had talked to online, as I explored what intrigued me. He wasn't the first Dom either. And I talked to other Doms after I met him, messed around with other Doms. Until he insisted I stop (that's not really the way that happened, but it's close enough for today's story, and if I haven't written about it in another entry, remind me and I will).

So while those of you who read here know that he sometimes (often?) has other girls, I don't have other Doms.

Except that lately, he's been chatting with a couple of guys, looking for diversity there.

I don't really what he has in mind, but he's had me email a couple of Doms, to introduce myself. And I chatted briefly with one this morning.

So ummm... Did he make my heart beat faster? I dunno. Maybe a tiny bit in places. Did he make me anxious? Yessssss. Did he turn me on? A bit. Did I recoil in shock when he called me "cuntmeat"? Yep, you gotta know it did. And horror too. I admit it. I think that if you are hooked they can call you whatever, and maybe the dirtier the better, but... until then... ummm.

Big Bad asks if I feel like he is whoring me out. Yeah, kind of. He asks if it makes me feel less special. I don't know. Maybe not. I don't think he is ready to dump me and move on. But I do wonder where the hell he's going with it. It worries me a bit, both in terms of my own comfort with wherever this goes and with his.

And am I more comfortable when we are playing with other subs? You betcha.