"If we were all alone," he says," I'd have you naked and put you back up on the arm of that couch like I had you last night. With the clover clamps and weights hanging from your tits."
Yikes. I can't even handle the clover clamps these days, I'm so out of training and he's talking weights??
"Nipple jewelry as you recently called it," he says.
I agree. Sort of. "I did, though I wasn't talking about clover clamps with weights."
"That's a great picture for your Master that hardens My cock now as I think about it."
Actually I like knowing that.
"Want it? Be honest." He does love honesty. Though clearly, sometimes he'd like me to have different feelings to be honest about.
I ponder this one. And respond slowly. "Partly. Maybe 53% want it. Or maybe 47% Somewhere around there." Yeah, I'm a geek with the numbers. I know. So is he.
And my wanting or not wanting is about maybe still wanting pain (see all the posts I wrote last week about needing it) balanced against the knowledge of how much pain hurts and knowing that I am totally out of practice and that it hurts more than I'm used to (see the posts I wrote earlier this week about getting it). And clovers with weights?? As I fuck myself on the arm of the couch and try to get off? Uh. Yikes.
"Let me ask another way," he says. "Do you want it for Me?"
Actually, that's different. And I don't have to think about it this time. "Yes Sir. 89% or maybe 95%"
"Different perspective there, isn't it baby?" I'm probably not supposed to tell you he calls me baby, but, really, it changes the whole tenor of the discussion without it, don't you think? "It's what we are."
"Yes Sir." (Okay, really I called him Daddy there. Maybe we're just a bit too sweet here?)
And then he points out that I have far more desire to do it for him than I do, just for myself."
Absolutely true. I want to do it for him if he wants it. And I want to do it for him far more than I didn't want it for me.
He loves that, "I was quite sure that's how you would feel, once you realized I really want it."
"Yes Sir." He gets me. And it brings me right back to that place where I'd do anything to please him, if he really wants it from me. Especially something small, like those clover clamps and weights and the couch. Of course I would.