Shafia Trial

Today's post is an angry feminist rant about current events. It's not even that coherent. I feel like I have so much to say, and I've run out of time today to say it. But I must say something.

Yesterday there was a court ruling about a case which has captured the attention of Canadians. The parents and brother of 3 murdered girls and their step-mom were found guilty and sentenced to life in prison.

The murders were carried out a couple of years ago. The parents and brother pushed a car that carried the 4 women into a canal. All 4 women drowned.

The reason? Licentious behaviour. The girls, aged 19, 17, and 13 weren't modest enough for the Afghani parents. So they killed them.

There's tons more info on the case here: 

http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/Christie+Blatchford+There+honour+shameless+murders/6070834/story.html

Every time I have heard this story on the radio, and there have been numerous reportings on it, I have thought, "those fuckers!" I wish there was a death penalty. I really do. I'm so angry at these people. Can you imagine killing your child? Can you imagine killing 3 of your children? They killed a 13 year old girl for slutty behaviour.

The family moved from Afghanistan to Canada. They're a wealthy family. There was a dad, a mom, the older brother who helped to kill them. The three sisters who died, 2 other sisters and a brother. And the dad's first wife who they brought in a couple months later as a cousin who was going to "help with the housework" or something.

The oldest daughter, Zainab was rebellious. She hung out with boys, she wore makeup and clothes that showed her body. She ran away, to a women's shelter. She got married to someone her parents didn't approve of and then had the marriage annulled. Her behaviour was pretty wild in some ways. Not so wild in others. Not so far off the beaten path of teenage-hood.

The second sister, Sahar, was rebellious too. She hung out with boys, took tarty pics of herself with her cell phone. She dated boys.

The third daughter, Geeti was 13. She asked teachers and schools for help, saying they were going to kill her and then recanted in front of her parents. Pictures of her make her look like a child, not an adolescent. She was a little girl.

The first wife, Rona, was 52. She was barren. She wanted to leave her marriage. She was afraid of her husband. Afraid he would kill her.

All 4 of these women were afraid. Justifiably.

There's a sense that the system let them down. They knew they were in danger, and asked for help, from schools and friends and social workers. They were afraid of being killed and they said so.

We are so politically correct as a culture, so stupidly liberal, that we want to believe that every culture has legitimacy even if it isn't our own. And here's the thing. They don't all have the same legitimacy. Some cultural ways, traditional ways, are just barbaric and evil and repressive. Some are just wrong. We need to say so.

Who decides? Well if you don't feel capable, I can do it, thanks.

These honour killings were that kind of barbaric, primitive, evil thing. This man, their father, obviously the mind behind the crimes, clearly felt that he had the rights to power and control over their sexuality. They were killed because he couldn't control their sexuality.

I seriously hope they put him in jail with a thousand other men and he learns something about sexuality there.

Intimidation - Vanilla

This isn't dirty, so if you are here looking for something dark and twisty today, you'll want to move along quickly. This is kind of angsty real life stuff.

I have to  write something for work and I'm nervous about it.

I write stuff all the time. I write here, as you know.

And for work I write memos and letters and presentations and briefing notes and persuasive stuff and ... this is different.

It's different because it's something to be published and I'm nervous about the permanence of it. I'm nervous about people reading it now or in 10 years and thinking wow, she was so stupid, she didn't get this at all. I'm nervous of them thinking I've missed the point, or made a bad argument or (worst of all!)  not done enough research.

It all just paralyzes me. I've started this paper I'm trying to write at least 3 times before. I research it, write it, play with it a bit and then for no apparent reason I just leave it and walk away.

I don't HAVE to publish stuff in my job. But it would sure help. It would help in terms of prestige and credibility and those would be good things.

I do presentations all the time. I'm good at them. Somehow the transience of the oral presentation helps me. Even if it's not perfect I can cover. I can distract, turn the conversation, shape the discussion. Control things.

I think it's needing to be perfect that intimidates me. But it's also somehow, just submitting the project and letting it sink or swim on its own.

Interesting how the language fits here isn't it? Control, submission.

So in this coming week, I need to find some way past that intimidation, to producing a product.

Wish me luck.

Would You Rather... ?

So the question seems to be - would you rather fuck the man with the pussy or the chick with the dick?

I found this I found the pic and the question and brought it back here because I am curious about the reaction. And don't feel like writing anything - though really I do have topics now so don't give up on me completely ok?

And the question is meant for straight men according to the caption - which I love, as much or more than the pics, cause it aggressively forces the issue. Choose. And if you don't choose it's because you are sexually insecure.

So if you do answer - I'm curious about your sexuality? Male or female, straight or gay?

I find both of them attractive... sort of.

It came from here btw

Hair Again

Back to hair as promised. I had several comments from people who had some first hand knowledge of head shaving that I found fascinating. I followed up on a couple and people responded. Here is Mouse's version of Omega's experience with shaving

Omega once was involved with a girl (not new to slavery) who had issues with submitting herself fully to her Dom (she was a bit of a smart assed sub). O didn't really own the girl (at first), but was training her for someone else.


After a couple weeks, he realized that she needed a more permanent reminder of her commitment to slavery. This was after long discussion about her beliefs, her family, friends, etc. He had to take into consideration where she worked, etc. She was also living with him 24-7, so he was there to help her and build that trust between them.

The first step was he removed her bed from the room he let her use, second step was he took away all her clothing and locked it up. He would determine what she wore....After a couple weeks he found it wasn't enough for that one. The girl required more or further pushing.

He dragged her out of bed in the middle of the night, cuffed her hands to her feet and shaved her head. He picked out horrible wigs for to wear in public but rewarded her with more pleasing wigs as she learned to behave. The effect was immediate. With the loss of her hair her submission increased greatly or in other words, she realized that nothing was in her control anymore.

He continued shaving her head after that. After around 3 months he felt she was trained enough and returned her to her owner. A short time after that her owner released her back to O, giving a lame excuse (not a training issue but more of a money issue or something). So O decided to keep her (he already owned another girl around that time as well) until he could find her another suitable owner. A year went by and he found her a home. She's never been happier and still talks to O (he mentors her) and is still friends with her owner.

Omega actually likes hair on women...long hair so he can grab it caveman style. So mouse does believe it really was done as a last resort. He demands that mouse's hair be kept just below her collarbone. Recently after a trip to the salon, mouse was nearly punished for allowing her hair to be cut slightly shorter than that. He took out a measuring stick and decided it was right on the line.


She notes that Omega has led an interesting life. I agree.

So ummmm, do you think it would be scary to have a Dom who had already shaved one girl's head?

Angst in Blogland

Angst in cyber-world. There's a fuss about one of the blogs on the best sex bloggers list. It was the blog that came first, a blog by a high class call girl (allegedly) and was eventually removed from first place because of the protest. If you follow the links you can read a pretty vitriolic accusation here. And a really good post by Remittance Girl on the virtual execution of this virtual call girl.

A long time ago, one of my early online friends told me that you have to assume that everyone you meet online is a man, probably 18 to 30, and just looking to jerk off. And I certainly found that in some groups there was some truth to that.

I did meet women in online chat rooms that I found out later were men. Actually, I wasn't that bothered by it. They weren't people I had much invested in and my sense of betrayal was fairly limited. I was amused and intrigued and wondered about their reasons. I wasn't hurt.

Actually I had one insanely hot cyber session with a girl that I later found out was a man. Did it wreck it for me? Ummm, no, but it did shift my sense of what had happened.

I have assumed that people who write blogs are middle aged women. Some are younger, some older, some men even, but a huge preponderance seem to be those MAWs. And I have no idea of stats or facts or trends or anything else on this. Maybe it's just the blogs I read, but I think they are overwhelmingly written by just who I said.

People write blogs in order to connect, to communicate. We want the community that we build of like minded people.

And the world sort of takes the blog and the blogger at face value. What do you know about me? Only what I tell you, and perhaps what you read between the lines, if you read closely enough. You know that I say I'm a woman, middle aged as I said, you know tons about my feelings. Or about the feelings I say I feel.

But you don't know if any of that is true. And how much do you care? For those of you that read my blog all the time, if you found out I wasn't who I say, what I say, how shocked would you be? Well depends what it was, right?

Like if you found that I was 25 or 75 instead of 50, would that make a difference? It might not but you might wonder why I had misrepresented. And you'd see what I wrote differently.

If you found out that I weighed 10 pounds more than you thought you probably wouldn't do more than raise an eyebrow. Women lie about their weight all the time right?

If you found out that I was a man what would you think? And I could be a man, there are no pictures of me here. And if there were, would you be certain they were me? Yeah, that would shift your perceptions of me and what I say. But why and how much?
The real answer is that  it would probably depend on how close you felt to me and how much you had relied on the specific image that you had held of me and how much I was changing it.

In the example that I started with, The Princess Diaries, the blog that won first place in the 100 Best Bloggers List this year, apparently the blog was written by a high paid call girl, who turns out to have maybe been a middle aged man. Which is different I grant you. But how important is it? I think it became more important because someone was envious and started a trash talking campaign. But of course I don't know that.

The internet permits anonymity. And you really have no idea if anything you read on my blog, or anywhere else on the net, is fact or fiction or opinion. You just don't know. I think you read here for entertainment, to be amused or intrigued or for my story. And if it's my story that draws you here, you are drawn whether it's fact or fiction.

I like to know whether things are true or not. I really do. But in some ways I also don't care. Unless I'm doing research I read what interests me, what entertains me.

I find it creepy that someone has gone to so much trouble to prove who the blogger really is. They could be ruining someone's life, a vindictive and pointless act. It's disconcerting. I know there are people here who don't like me. I can only hope that no one ever combines motive and means to hurt me that much.

Top 100 Sex Bloggers

Yep there's a list. Go and see.

http://www.betweenmysheets.com/index.php/top-100-sex-bloggers-of-2010

Couldn't we all spend the rest of our days reading these? Ok maybe just the rest of the week?

If you notice me go quiet I've probably submerged myself in excellent sex blogs that I've never seen before.

Congrats to Oatmeal Girl from Submission and Metaphor, and Remittance Girl and of course Riff Dog from Ashley and Me for making the list. All of them are in my sidebar but I'm feeling lazy so you can go look for them yourselves.

Going to read...

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Yep, more on hair. I was actually going to write a different post on hair, so there might be more again tomorrow too. So if you hate it, you may have to distract me eventually...

I was reading through my comments yesterday on Day 2 on Hair and found the following comment:

The answer is YES I would shave my head. There is no such thing as NO. Reluctance can be dealt with and a wig will cover the vanilla situation. The back of my head is shaved now and thankfully I can still cover it with my long hair. And yes there were tons of tears with my mouth around his cock while he cut it and then shaved it. I held really still as he pushed my head down his shaft as he stroked the razor up my nape and scalp. He was hard the entire time and came really fast after it was done. I am to remind everyone that our context is subtle because HE likes it not because I do. ... He left with a pony tail of hair in his pocket this morning.

Anonymous from yesterday

At first I thought, oh another person whose head has been shaved. There are some, and their points of view which they have shared here have intrigued me and fed the discussion between my Owner and I over the past couple of days as well as the discussion here. Interesting.

But then I began to notice the similarities between this and my Owners fantasy scene. Her kneeling at his feet with his cock in her mouth. He trims away her hair and then shaves it as she kneels and sucks obediently. Trying to please him, or at least to obey though she cries as he cuts her hair. (My Owner wants the fantasy to include the fact that she still wants to please him even through her tears).

There were things that I didn't completely understand in the message though, some of the emphasis on subtlety for example. And then I noticed that the signature was "Anonymous from yesterday" and though hmmm, I don't think I realized that Anonymous from yesterday was a YES vote.

So I went back and checked. Anonymous from yesterday wasn't a YES, she was a NO.

In that day's comments she had said that it would be a violation of trust in their relationship, that she needed her hair to negotiate her days in the context of her vanilla world of soccer moms and professional colleagues. She said that him asking her to shave her head would risk all this, would risk damage, would be like asking her to lick arsenic. She also said that her relationship worked in subtle hidden ways, in little details not in grand gestures, in her creativity and in the little aches and pains (oh I do know those aches and pains) that served to reinforce her submissive state and remind her of his control.

So why the change Anonymous?

I doubt she changed her mind. I assume he changed it for her. In my version of the tale she mentioned my post to him, said look this is crazy, who would let their hair be shaved and he took it as a dare, as an act of bravado he could not let pass. The discussion escalated. Maybe she said he wouldn't dare. Maybe he got mad. Maybe she did.

Eventually he went to collect the things he needed, took her into the bathroom and made her kneel. Told her what he was going to do. She started to cry. He didn't cut it all, just some of it. Just enough to show her he could do it. And that she would submit. Submit to whatever he wanted. Suck his cock while he did it. After all it's just hair right?

Did you try to please him while he cut and shaved or did you just go through the motions and try to survive it? Did he take a photo when he was done of the hair lying around you? (Mine wants a photo of me surrounded by my hair now, sucking his cock - sadist?) Who cleaned up the mess? I'm sure it was you.
And when he left with your hair in his pocket, how did you feel?
I feel involved. I feel like I took an idea, communicated it and changed someone's life. No, it's not huge. Not in the grand scheme of world events, and it didn't hurt physically, and hopefully it won't hurt the relationship, but it changed it, and I'm pretty sure it was a big deal to her, Anonymous, as it would be for me. And, so I feel, not responsible maybe, but involved, implicated, concerned.
 
Anonymous, I know you'll come back to read. Please send me an email sublime_sin@yahoo.com as I want to talk to you. My Owner wants to talk to your Dom. Or comment here again if you won't...