So... is this going to be my new declutter blog? Ummm, probably not.
But I guess it's not going to be what it was.
I had a Dom, and now I don't.
And I need to figure out what to do about that. Whether I want a new one. Where to find one. What kind of relationship I'm looking for.
It's tiring just thinking about it.
The other one, the old one, just happened. I didn't really have to think about it. It just kind of grew that way.
Damn, life is complicated sometimes.
I wish I could just wave my wand and have everything be peachy.
This whole transition period, whatever it is I'm transitioning to... this sucks. I hate uncertainty.
But... the decluttering is going well.
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Showing posts with label relationship. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 24, 2016
Thursday, August 11, 2016
I Miss It
I miss it.
The dominance.
The connection.
The sex.
Even the pain. Maybe especially the pain.
What am I going to do?
I have no idea how to replace it. Where to get a fix.
I'm an addict and I've been cut off.
And I'm sad.
Damn.
The dominance.
The connection.
The sex.
Even the pain. Maybe especially the pain.
What am I going to do?
I have no idea how to replace it. Where to get a fix.
I'm an addict and I've been cut off.
And I'm sad.
Damn.
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Imagine
Do you love when you're in a group of people and you see little hints of D/s and it makes you wonder about the stories behind the little gestures?
I went to a party last night. There was a couple there, the woman slightly older, the man a bit younger. I've met them before, and was struck by the same things then.
She seemed to be in her early 50s, overweight but still attractive, well dressed. She had on those high boots that I always think Dommes should wear.
He was nice looking but a bit anxious seeming. Or was that just attentive? He's tall, slim, he obviously works out. I'd say he was about 38, maybe a little older.
He brought her plates of things, they fed each other.
Their talk ranged from casual to pretty sexual, hmmm, had sexual elements in it. It wasn't uncomfortable for bystanders or eavesdroppers.
And they touched each other a lot. Just little touches, a hand on a thigh, a shoulder, the middle of his back.
In my mind, they are a Domme and her boy. They've been together a long time; they're good together. And whether in or out, he serves her, he brings her things, he is at her command. The feed each other food, he because that's what she orders, she feeds him because he loves taking food from her hands. It's funny, how feeding someone can be service or something a little humiliating depending on the point of view.
I don't think they did it when they got home last night. The Domme was tired. But probably this morning, as I write this, he's serving her somehow. Either servicing her body, as she commands, as he knows she likes, or bringing her breakfast afterward.
Mmmmm. Lucky them.
I went to a party last night. There was a couple there, the woman slightly older, the man a bit younger. I've met them before, and was struck by the same things then.
She seemed to be in her early 50s, overweight but still attractive, well dressed. She had on those high boots that I always think Dommes should wear.
He was nice looking but a bit anxious seeming. Or was that just attentive? He's tall, slim, he obviously works out. I'd say he was about 38, maybe a little older.
He brought her plates of things, they fed each other.
Their talk ranged from casual to pretty sexual, hmmm, had sexual elements in it. It wasn't uncomfortable for bystanders or eavesdroppers.
And they touched each other a lot. Just little touches, a hand on a thigh, a shoulder, the middle of his back.
In my mind, they are a Domme and her boy. They've been together a long time; they're good together. And whether in or out, he serves her, he brings her things, he is at her command. The feed each other food, he because that's what she orders, she feeds him because he loves taking food from her hands. It's funny, how feeding someone can be service or something a little humiliating depending on the point of view.
I don't think they did it when they got home last night. The Domme was tired. But probably this morning, as I write this, he's serving her somehow. Either servicing her body, as she commands, as he knows she likes, or bringing her breakfast afterward.
Mmmmm. Lucky them.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
It's Complicated
In stories and movies and in our thinking, relationships are supposed to "progress".
They become more important, more committed, more intense. There's more time, more emotion, more everything. And then they live happily ever after. Or something.
My relationship is going the other way. Less of all that. And yet I'm supposed to just hang on.
It's not over. It's fine.
But it's shifted from the exotic and entrancing thing it was.
And some days I'm happy with it. Or at least content.
Other days I'm frustrated because I know what it was. I say frustrated, but that includes a sad and angry and resigned. And fearful that it's getting worse faster.
On rare days, it's blissful and that recharges me.
It's complicated I guess.
They become more important, more committed, more intense. There's more time, more emotion, more everything. And then they live happily ever after. Or something.
My relationship is going the other way. Less of all that. And yet I'm supposed to just hang on.
It's not over. It's fine.
But it's shifted from the exotic and entrancing thing it was.
And some days I'm happy with it. Or at least content.
Other days I'm frustrated because I know what it was. I say frustrated, but that includes a sad and angry and resigned. And fearful that it's getting worse faster.
On rare days, it's blissful and that recharges me.
It's complicated I guess.
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