Discussion

Recently Big Bad Dom went exploring on the internet and discovered someone else's rules.

He started reading them to me, asked what I thought, and I said I thought they were pretty all inclusive and pretty naive. He agreed with me, he even said they were utopian.

But he kept reading them to me.

And a couple of things became clear.

He liked The Rules. They were about action and intent and feelings and they gave everything to the Master. This submissive was going to do everything to please him, everything she thought might please him and she was going to do it all willingly. So he thought they were great.

I didn't like the rules. I thought they were silly. Yes, they gave him everything but and oh so willingly and sweetly. But they didn't take reality into consideration. The second there was anything outside perfection in their relationship, she'd be outside the rules.

In my relationship, being outside the rules is bad. There is enforcement, punishment, etc.

So I hated the rules and started feeling defensive and, okay a bit sulky too.

He kept reading. Maybe he didn't realize I was getting sulky. Every so often, I'd say to him something like, "oh you should get a sub who does that!"

It was threatening because I'm not a perfect submissive. Not even close. Somedays I'm perfect and obedient and sweet. Some days I'm obedient. And tired or sick or busy or sulky or furious or have PMS or dying to do something else, show off something else, get his opinion about something else.

Our deal is that he chooses what we're going to do or talk about and I do what he wants. We have some pretty basic rules about whether my attitude is appropriate or not. Again this is his decision. Surprised? But he actually wants to know whether I like what he's chosen. I'm required to be honest about my feelings if he asks. And then I might be required to just shut up about them. But none of that will make me Little Mary Sunshine if I want to fuck and he wants to talk or the reverse.

And these rules were so much about attitude. Yeah, I could be a bit better maybe. That's honesty. I could change a bit. But I don't think I'd ever get to that perfect submission in The Rules.

And I hope he doesn't get a sub who does that!

Prayers

Yesterday was a weird day. A funeral, a hospital visit to the psych ward, and two moms who I'm close to have desperately ill babies.

Makes you think about priorities.

And prayer.

I'm not really a big believer in prayer. I'm a skeptic.

But sometimes I really really want it to be true.

I think this is one of those times.

Please let everyone be alright.

Praying for a speedy and full recovery, for the babies and the anorexic girl in the wheelchair.

Ah Football...

I know... shocking to some of you, but absolutely true. In fact, I don't even know who is playing. Okay really I don't usually know there's a game on.

Just sayin...
                 

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And yeah, I'm working on questions we'd want to ask Dominants. Do you have a Dom you have questions for? What questions would you want to ask? Would he answer?

FYI

Just FYI, I'm not posting anything else til I get some indication that someone is reading these.

This is supposed to be a conversation, not a one sided monologue.

You can agree or disagree or whatever. But that's my line in the sand.

Validate me.

Winter Prayer

Seriously.

It's stupidly, horribly cold.

They said yesterday was -41 Celsius with the wind chill. Fahrenheit and Celsius meet at -40 btw, that's probably all you need to know.

And it's been insanely cold for most of a week that I had off. So cold that going out risks frostbite or hypothermia unless you are just rushing out to the car and even that's pretty miserable. We talk about which car we are going to take, heated seats or heated steering wheel. And which car heating system works the most efficiently.

No skiing, no skating, no winter fun. No walking or running outside.

Wear a hat, scarf, boots and WARM mittens. Wear a jacket with a hood, just in case. If your car does have problems be prepared to walk away.

The furnace in my house isn't keeping up. No it's not cold in my house, not really, but it's not warm either. The restaurant we went to last night was in an older building. It was cold there.

And for my asshole facebook friends who are in Florida or the Carribbean or Mexico and are whining about having to come back. We've heard your boasting for 2 weeks. We do not feel any sympathy for you having to return. In fact, we want to meet you at the airport and hose you down so you can catch up on the cold weather misery we have felt for a week.

Brrrr.

Imagine

Do you love when you're in a group of people and you see little hints of D/s and it makes you wonder about the stories behind the little gestures?

I went to a party last night.  There was a couple there, the woman slightly older, the man a bit younger. I've met them before, and was struck by the same things then.

She seemed to be in her early 50s, overweight but still attractive, well dressed. She had on those high boots that I always think Dommes should wear. 

He was nice looking but a bit anxious seeming. Or was that just attentive? He's tall, slim, he obviously works out. I'd say he was about 38, maybe a little older.

He brought her plates of things, they fed each other.

Their talk ranged from casual to pretty sexual, hmmm, had sexual elements in it. It wasn't uncomfortable for bystanders or eavesdroppers.

And they touched each other a lot.  Just little touches, a hand on a thigh, a shoulder, the middle of his back.

In my mind, they are a Domme and her boy. They've been together a long time; they're good together. And whether in or out, he serves her, he brings her things, he is at her command. The feed each other food, he because that's what she orders, she feeds him because he loves taking food from her hands. It's funny, how feeding someone can be service or something a little humiliating depending on the point of view.

I don't think they did it when they got home last night. The Domme was tired. But probably this morning, as I write this, he's serving her somehow. Either servicing her body, as she commands, as he knows she likes, or bringing her breakfast afterward.

Mmmmm. Lucky them.

Princesses

Have you seen this?

It's a princessified version of famous women. 

How did I miss this? 

Recognize them? I knew some, had to look others up. 

They are, from left to right: Marie Curie, Anne Frank, Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Harriet Tubman, Malala, Hillary, Jane Goodall, Gloria Steinem, Rosa Parks, Susan B.Antony. 

Last spring, Disney princessified Merida, who was the heroine in Brave to look like all the other princesses. The reason was to sell product, but the problem, and the reason for all the fuss, was that Merida was billed as the anti-princess, she was supposed to be different from all the other princesses and to not care about conventional beauty and to resist the trappings. She was supposed to be a role model for girls who might want someone to look up to that wasn't all about looks. I think maybe Disney missed that point.

So this artist, David Trumble, painted this World of Women, where he depicted women heroines as princesses. It was meant to be a joke, a provocative image, a conversation starter.

I love the idea. I think it's a good conversation starter.

Let me start by saying I was a Barbie girl. I looooved Barbies when I was little. And I like being pretty as an adult.I like dressing up, I like nice clothes, and I like feeling that people think I'm pretty.

But I recognize that there's a lot more to being important, successful, or a good role model than just pretty. And the message that girls and women are blasted with is all about perfectly pretty.

And so Merida was important. Because she gave girls permission to be other than beautiful and still be successful and happy.

As all these women are important. In bigger ways. And they've been enhanced? reduced? to princesses.

And I love the ironic take on it.

I found some of the transformations more shocking than others. The most shocking? Maybe Anne Frank. And Hillary.

Comments?