And I've stolen his thoughts to bring to you. I've changed it to a male Dominant female submissive point of view. And considering after it's over and written, perhaps I should have left it in female Dominant male submissive form. It certainly would have allowed me to write about it more objectively, with less "oh I wouldn't want to do THAT" in my head.
Hawk says, "Well, it's probably just not a smart thing to do for starters. But I did...and came across a few articles on "How to drive your sub/slave into deeper submission." I realize there are 1000's of ways, but there were some I read that struck a cord with me. Thought I'd share some of the things in the article with my reaction."
I agree Hawk, maybe not smart, but exciting, daring and interesting. And maybe not smart to write about it either. It's kind of a Pandora's Box isn't it? Where trouble comes from knowledge? His 11 suggestions are below in italics, my responses in regular type.
1. Have her make a list of the 10 things that make him the most self-conscious, uncomfortable or embarrassed. Wow. This is huge isn't it? Ten things. The ten things that make me the MOST self conscious, uncomfortable or embarrassed. Wow. My Dom and I used to talk all the time about how information is power. And since I wanted to give him power over me and he wanted to take it, that one of the best ways for that to happen was through information. What I want, need, like, don't like, am embarrassed about, get turned on with. this is more of that I think, but with a fairly explicit target. The things that make me squirm.
I think that often male submissives crave humiliation, often more explicitly than female subs do. It's often a huge part of the dynamic. I do like humiliation. That was a huge admission at one time, one that he forced me to see about myself, and it's still a big deal for me to just admit it. But this list would be hard. Especially knowing that it would likely be followed by at least some of number 2 below.
2. Work with her, having her do the things on the list (if possible), so that she conquers those fears and hesitations. The things that make me the MOST self-conscious or uncomfortable or embarrassed? Wow. See comments from above.
I wonder if there's really a sense that this could be a good way to conquer fears and improve my life? It could be. Like in a case where I am embarrassed about my body and he becomes my personal trainer and I become thin and fit and that much more dependent on him. I guess if that was true it would deepen my submission.
But this strikes me much more as a way for him to trigger humiliations that strike dead on. What do you think?
3. Have her eat from a dog bowl on occasion. Umm, yes that would make me feel embarrassed. Submissive. There's something about the power, feeling his power making me do something just because he can. I think this would make me feel my submission deeply.
4. For transgressions, command that she is to be silent for a period of time. She may not speak and will take whatever pain or pleasure or punishment as silently as possible. He occaisionally tells me not to speak as part of sex. But I don't think he has ever told me not to speak because I transgressed, as part of a punishment. Would it be effective? Probably. I might get mad, madder, but it would be a big power play.
5. Have her wear nipple clamps under her clothing out to dinner or shopping. He's done this. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it sucks. Sometimes it hurts so much that I can't think of anything else.
6. Speak about her as if she were not present. Yeah, he does this. At first it really freaked me out. It made me feel like a little kid listening to adults talk about her. Now, I'm kind of used to it and it doesn't bother me much. Familiarity breeds a certain amout of comfort right?
7. Keep a list of her transgressions in a little book....let her slip for a while...thinking You are not noticing.....then one day, bring out the book and have a day of atonement. He doesn't usually do this, just let things slide. He pounces on them as soon as they happen. He has done it, once, let things pile up til they were a great big pile of trouble but not usually. And he probably has a book, he's like that. No not really, but only because he really does call me on stuff right away. Saves him from having to keep that book.
8. Don't be afraid to bring her to tears, for they are Yours as well. He's not afraid of my tears at all. I wonder if he thinks they are his. Probably.
9. Get her tattooed (Your choice of art and location). No thank you. This is something he'd like to explore I think. I imagine him tattooing his name on me, or thinking about it. It's a limit for me because of my real life situation. Frankly it's something I would resist anyway because of the permanence of it. Honestly, I adore him now, and I have for a long time. I expect to keep on adoring him and serving him. But nothing in life is sure. And how the hell would I explain a tattoo pointing to my slit that says "MASTER"S TOY". Which I guess is the point? I suggest that he can sublimate with temporary designs on my body.
10 . Make her swallow his own cum or someone else's cum. I do taste my own all the time. And I've tasted other people's of course. But never in that kind of third party situation where it was just because it was ordered by someone else.
11. Force her to eat something that she likes but modify it with spit or golden nectar. Umm. Well now that's a diet strategy isn't it?
I think that all Doms and Dommes have ways of making us more attached to them, making us feel our submission and making us feel attached specifically to them. After all, that's the name of the game right? And I don't think they come from rule books. They are combinations of things that appeal to the Dom, will make him feel powerful and that work, that he knows work cause he's probably tried variations of them before. Not really making any point here, just thinking.