The Blues

Today was such a hard day. Nothing could make me happy. And I know the unhappiness is coming from inside me, making me mean and dissatisfied and pissy. I keep trying to shake it off, to find the good in things. I don't like this me, I'm not fun to be around for anyone else, and I'm not fun for me to have around.

I'm having my period, and I know thats what is making me blue but its horrible this time. I'm horrible this time, much bluer than usual. I want chocolate. I need chocolate. Or sex. Maybe an orgasm would make it better....

I'm so grouchy, at friends, and colleagues and my kids. I told my kids to fuck off this morning. I never do that. And the day kind of went from there. Nothing terrible happened. I was just miserable. I think I was the most terrible thing of the day.

I suppose tomorrow will be better. At least as long as I don't binge tonight...