carpe diem

where to go now?

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Hair Again

Back to hair as promised. I had several comments from people who had some first hand knowledge of head shaving that I found fascinating. I followed up on a couple and people responded. Here is Mouse's version of Omega's experience with shaving

Omega once was involved with a girl (not new to slavery) who had issues with submitting herself fully to her Dom (she was a bit of a smart assed sub). O didn't really own the girl (at first), but was training her for someone else.

After a couple weeks, he realized that she needed a more permanent reminder of her commitment to slavery. This was after long discussion about her beliefs, her family, friends, etc. He had to take into consideration where she worked, etc. She was also living with him 24-7, so he was there to help her and build that trust between them.

The first step was he removed her bed from the room he let her use, second step was he took away all her clothing and locked it up. He would determine what she wore....After a couple weeks he found it wasn't enough for that one. The girl required more or further pushing.

He dragged her out of bed in the middle of the night, cuffed her hands to her feet and shaved her head. He picked out horrible wigs for to wear in public but rewarded her with more pleasing wigs as she learned to behave. The effect was immediate. With the loss of her hair her submission increased greatly or in other words, she realized that nothing was in her control anymore.

He continued shaving her head after that. After around 3 months he felt she was trained enough and returned her to her owner. A short time after that her owner released her back to O, giving a lame excuse (not a training issue but more of a money issue or something). So O decided to keep her (he already owned another girl around that time as well) until he could find her another suitable owner. A year went by and he found her a home. She's never been happier and still talks to O (he mentors her) and is still friends with her owner.

Omega actually likes hair on women...long hair so he can grab it caveman style. So mouse does believe it really was done as a last resort. He demands that mouse's hair be kept just below her collarbone. Recently after a trip to the salon, mouse was nearly punished for allowing her hair to be cut slightly shorter than that. He took out a measuring stick and decided it was right on the line.

She notes that Omega has led an interesting life. I agree.

So ummmm, do you think it would be scary to have a Dom who had already shaved one girl's head?

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Angst in Blogland

Angst in cyber-world. There's a fuss about one of the blogs on the best sex bloggers list. It was the blog that came first, a blog by a high class call girl (allegedly) and was eventually removed from first place because of the protest. If you follow the links you can read a pretty vitriolic accusation here. And a really good post by Remittance Girl on the virtual execution of this virtual call girl.

A long time ago, one of my early online friends told me that you have to assume that everyone you meet online is a man, probably 18 to 30, and just looking to jerk off. And I certainly found that in some groups there was some truth to that.

I did meet women in online chat rooms that I found out later were men. Actually, I wasn't that bothered by it. They weren't people I had much invested in and my sense of betrayal was fairly limited. I was amused and intrigued and wondered about their reasons. I wasn't hurt.

Actually I had one insanely hot cyber session with a girl that I later found out was a man. Did it wreck it for me? Ummm, no, but it did shift my sense of what had happened.

I have assumed that people who write blogs are middle aged women. Some are younger, some older, some men even, but a huge preponderance seem to be those MAWs. And I have no idea of stats or facts or trends or anything else on this. Maybe it's just the blogs I read, but I think they are overwhelmingly written by just who I said.

People write blogs in order to connect, to communicate. We want the community that we build of like minded people.

And the world sort of takes the blog and the blogger at face value. What do you know about me? Only what I tell you, and perhaps what you read between the lines, if you read closely enough. You know that I say I'm a woman, middle aged as I said, you know tons about my feelings. Or about the feelings I say I feel.

But you don't know if any of that is true. And how much do you care? For those of you that read my blog all the time, if you found out I wasn't who I say, what I say, how shocked would you be? Well depends what it was, right?

Like if you found that I was 25 or 75 instead of 50, would that make a difference? It might not but you might wonder why I had misrepresented. And you'd see what I wrote differently.

If you found out that I weighed 10 pounds more than you thought you probably wouldn't do more than raise an eyebrow. Women lie about their weight all the time right?

If you found out that I was a man what would you think? And I could be a man, there are no pictures of me here. And if there were, would you be certain they were me? Yeah, that would shift your perceptions of me and what I say. But why and how much?
The real answer is that  it would probably depend on how close you felt to me and how much you had relied on the specific image that you had held of me and how much I was changing it.

In the example that I started with, The Princess Diaries, the blog that won first place in the 100 Best Bloggers List this year, apparently the blog was written by a high paid call girl, who turns out to have maybe been a middle aged man. Which is different I grant you. But how important is it? I think it became more important because someone was envious and started a trash talking campaign. But of course I don't know that.

The internet permits anonymity. And you really have no idea if anything you read on my blog, or anywhere else on the net, is fact or fiction or opinion. You just don't know. I think you read here for entertainment, to be amused or intrigued or for my story. And if it's my story that draws you here, you are drawn whether it's fact or fiction.

I like to know whether things are true or not. I really do. But in some ways I also don't care. Unless I'm doing research I read what interests me, what entertains me.

I find it creepy that someone has gone to so much trouble to prove who the blogger really is. They could be ruining someone's life, a vindictive and pointless act. It's disconcerting. I know there are people here who don't like me. I can only hope that no one ever combines motive and means to hurt me that much.

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Top 100 Sex Bloggers

Yep there's a list. Go and see.

Couldn't we all spend the rest of our days reading these? Ok maybe just the rest of the week?

If you notice me go quiet I've probably submerged myself in excellent sex blogs that I've never seen before.

Congrats to Oatmeal Girl from Submission and Metaphor, and Remittance Girl and of course Riff Dog from Ashley and Me for making the list. All of them are in my sidebar but I'm feeling lazy so you can go look for them yourselves.

Going to read...

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

Yep, more on hair. I was actually going to write a different post on hair, so there might be more again tomorrow too. So if you hate it, you may have to distract me eventually...

I was reading through my comments yesterday on Day 2 on Hair and found the following comment:

The answer is YES I would shave my head. There is no such thing as NO. Reluctance can be dealt with and a wig will cover the vanilla situation. The back of my head is shaved now and thankfully I can still cover it with my long hair. And yes there were tons of tears with my mouth around his cock while he cut it and then shaved it. I held really still as he pushed my head down his shaft as he stroked the razor up my nape and scalp. He was hard the entire time and came really fast after it was done. I am to remind everyone that our context is subtle because HE likes it not because I do. ... He left with a pony tail of hair in his pocket this morning.

Anonymous from yesterday

At first I thought, oh another person whose head has been shaved. There are some, and their points of view which they have shared here have intrigued me and fed the discussion between my Owner and I over the past couple of days as well as the discussion here. Interesting.

But then I began to notice the similarities between this and my Owners fantasy scene. Her kneeling at his feet with his cock in her mouth. He trims away her hair and then shaves it as she kneels and sucks obediently. Trying to please him, or at least to obey though she cries as he cuts her hair. (My Owner wants the fantasy to include the fact that she still wants to please him even through her tears).

There were things that I didn't completely understand in the message though, some of the emphasis on subtlety for example. And then I noticed that the signature was "Anonymous from yesterday" and though hmmm, I don't think I realized that Anonymous from yesterday was a YES vote.

So I went back and checked. Anonymous from yesterday wasn't a YES, she was a NO.

In that day's comments she had said that it would be a violation of trust in their relationship, that she needed her hair to negotiate her days in the context of her vanilla world of soccer moms and professional colleagues. She said that him asking her to shave her head would risk all this, would risk damage, would be like asking her to lick arsenic. She also said that her relationship worked in subtle hidden ways, in little details not in grand gestures, in her creativity and in the little aches and pains (oh I do know those aches and pains) that served to reinforce her submissive state and remind her of his control.

So why the change Anonymous?

I doubt she changed her mind. I assume he changed it for her. In my version of the tale she mentioned my post to him, said look this is crazy, who would let their hair be shaved and he took it as a dare, as an act of bravado he could not let pass. The discussion escalated. Maybe she said he wouldn't dare. Maybe he got mad. Maybe she did.

Eventually he went to collect the things he needed, took her into the bathroom and made her kneel. Told her what he was going to do. She started to cry. He didn't cut it all, just some of it. Just enough to show her he could do it. And that she would submit. Submit to whatever he wanted. Suck his cock while he did it. After all it's just hair right?

Did you try to please him while he cut and shaved or did you just go through the motions and try to survive it? Did he take a photo when he was done of the hair lying around you? (Mine wants a photo of me surrounded by my hair now, sucking his cock - sadist?) Who cleaned up the mess? I'm sure it was you.
And when he left with your hair in his pocket, how did you feel?
I feel involved. I feel like I took an idea, communicated it and changed someone's life. No, it's not huge. Not in the grand scheme of world events, and it didn't hurt physically, and hopefully it won't hurt the relationship, but it changed it, and I'm pretty sure it was a big deal to her, Anonymous, as it would be for me. And, so I feel, not responsible maybe, but involved, implicated, concerned.
Anonymous, I know you'll come back to read. Please send me an email as I want to talk to you. My Owner wants to talk to your Dom. Or comment here again if you won't...

Friday, October 22, 2010

More on Hair

We talked a lot about hair yesterday; about whether I would submit my hair to him, allow him to shave my head.

It's a strictly hypothetical discussion I hope.

I'm sure that if he asked it I would let him. I don't think that there's anything that he asks of me that I don't do. I'm sure I would hate it too.

I said that I would probably try to talk him out of it. And he said he was quite sure he would.

And I'm very sure I would cry the whole time it was happening.

In a kind of dreamy voice he said that he could imagine me at his feet, kneeling on the floor, naked, while he cut and then shaved my hair. He said that he would have his cock in my mouth. He said that he'd have me suck his cock while my hair fell on the floor around me.  Crying.

Obviously the power of that image turned him on a lot. That I would let him shave my head, that he could make me do it, accept it.

There's huge power there isn't there?