... and now?
He released me.
I'm not coping. Or, I guess I am. I eat, sleep, go to work, try to interact normally with people. I walk around and everything is different.
I'm grieving for a relationship that was huge to me.
No one tells you how to do this in a Dom/sub context.
How to just be dumped by the guy who was my Dom, my Daddy, my Master. My friend. My lover. Who controlled so many things in my life.
I was honest. Open. I gave him all of me. That's what he demanded. And guess what? He decided he didn't want it.
My mind spirals. I'm out of control. I cry. I bargain. I overthink it. I spend hours, days, talking about him with my one friend who knows about him. I don't sleep. I alternate between binge eating and talking myself out of it.
And he... ? Is not the man I thought he would be if and when he released me.