The I've been thinking a lot lately about what submission is to me.
I'm not always the perfect submissive. (Duh!)
Often I'm angry sub, or resentful sub or PMS sub. Occasionally I'm smart-ass sub. Though what really pisses him off is when I'm bratty sub.
I'd like to be better. Maybe some of the way to do that is thinking about submission, and about why I want to be submissive. For me, writing about something often facilitates my understanding of it.
Why do I want to be submissive?
I have no idea. Seems like a lot of work sometimes.
Yeah, I know, smart-ass answer.
But it's sort of the truth. I don't really know why I WANT to be submissive.
I started down this path to feel desirable, and wanted and sexy. But that's certainly not the only answer.
The thing is, I'm not really submissive in life. Oh I am in the bedroom. But there's a difference between bedroom submission and being submissive. And mostly I'm not submissive outside the bedroom. I'm bossy and take charge.
Except to Him.
And I am to him because he wants it, and because I want it and because we've always been this way. And I want it because he wants it.
Seems simple enough?