Sofia asks What is the most important quality for a Dominant? Has your opinion on this changed over time?
Gosh. I think there are several things that are important. And I think they are really just important to me, I don't know about anyone else.
And these aren't necessarily the things that would make him attractive to me, but the things that would make him a good Dominant.
Consistency. He has to respond basically the same way to things, day after day, year after year. If you let someone else control your stuff, they have to be fairly predictable or it won't work.
Realism. He has to understand you aren't going to jump off a bridge or murder your family in their beds. He has to start off slowly and not give you things to do that you balk at early on. He has to get your agreement to his dominance.
Imagination. He needs the ability to put himself into your shoes, just a little, just enough to understand what it feels like to X or Y or Z. So he knows about (and probably gets off on) your pain, isn't just oblivious to it.If he's causing the pain, he should at least know and value that it's there. Or something like that.
Anyone else? What do you think?
And has my opinion changed over time?
Probably, like everything else does. But I think I always wanted consistency. It's a bit like living under the rule of law. You need to know what's allowed and what's not. If not, you don't know when you are breaking the rules and when you aren't. And it's not fair if you don't know, and I'm all about fair. I don't break the rules on purpose very often.