carpe diem

where to go now?

Saturday, January 10, 2009


I love the way my words look on the page, so smooth and pleasing and professional looking. I like looking at the final product. I like the formatting, green and pale and simple, though I have admired other formats too, and will experiment with them, playing with colour and images and style. The colour is clearly a factor as is the fact that the Blogger fairies format things and make it all beautiful, that all I do is write it and hit publish and poof, its perfect.

But for me the best thing right now is seeing my words on the screen, they flow down the screen, running off the bottom, and I am often surprised that I wrote so much. It feels like an accomplishment. A product. I love that they build up, accumulations of ideas that I have had. Flowing from my mind through my fingers and onto my screen.

I like this so far.

I am a little intimidated still by the need to be perfect. And only too aware that I'm not. My writing is stilted and stifled a little (no Sir, not by the knowledge that You will read it, because you have read millions of my thoughts, billions of my words, you know me through my words, and writing to you doesn't intimidate me). Its the idea of writing for posterity I think. Silly. Anyone reading what I write will be reading it because they like what I write, like reading the way I write, so I should just relax and do it. Perhaps though, the fact of the smooth green perfection it turns into intimidates me a bit, making me feel like the content should be significant or brilliant or amusing.

In the meantime though, I like what it has become, is becoming. Mine.

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